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hero worship

i have been really thinking on this for the last few days and i think it’s time to actually write about it.

we all have people that we look up to. that we idolize. it’s ok to admit it because its just the nature of the way that we live, especially if we are dorks and proud of it.

i know that i have heros just like everyone. i have even been lucky enough to meet a handful of mine, and yes i did totally freeze up when i meet them. i have squeed inside, but every out loud when my hero has been there. i have always tried to act as normal as i can. (i learned this is a good idea after working with some big guns in the film and music world. they just want to be treated like everyone else. and i always do that now.)

i can be buzzing on the inside, but still hide it as well as i can.

however, i have been on the flip side of this too.

i am a dj and have been able to do some really amazing gigs over the years to the point where i have a fair following and actually have my name known out of the area/out of the country too. i get recognized for my work in film and now modeling.

for the most part, people are just cool about it and just treat me like a normal person. it’s the “hey, i love your work”, “can you just sign ****”, or something of the like.

i have even had people cosplay in my event gear at some events. that’s a little weird to be honest.

now i have to admit that i don’t always know how to take it when a fan comes up to me and squee at me. i try to just be nice and talk with them. sometimes they don’t get that i have to be somewhere or have to, more likely, work and dj.

those of you that hang out with me a lot have seen where people will just randomly come up to me and try to talk with me like i know them or should know them and i will stand there like i don’t have a clue what’s going on.

this past baycon, a punker/gamer friend of mine was hanging out with me for a bit as i bounced around the con. a lot of people would stop me every few seconds. he even had to deal with one of my pesty stalkers that night. he joked that it was like being a body guard. actually he and i still laugh about that.

this is just an example of what can happen and how my friends deal with it.

but like i said, i don’t always know how to deal with fans or groupies.

but there was something that happened that was way past what i have dealt with in the past with fans or groupies.

i was djing a mardi gras event a few days ago. it was with two of the guys that i dj with usually and one dj that we are testing to see about giving her a regular gig with us.

i have djed with the new girl one time in the past.

she was way more interested in…. well…. humping my leg than working on her set and she ended up losing that gig for it. she had spent most of the night squeeing at me and following myself and one of my lovers around.

so the other night, i show up and she bounces on me, screaming “oh my god, you’re here. i love you!”

i did talk to her for a bit before going and dealing with some dj stuff and getting myself a drink and talking with friends about what happened the other day.

now she did a fair set, her choices of music where very good, but she was trying to be way to fancy with her mixing and it actually hurt her set badly. found out from a mutual friend that she was trying to impress me with what she could do.

she would have been wonderful if she was just herself in the booth.

i came on after her.

she asked what i thought of her set and i was honest with her. i told her that her choices where wonderful but with time her mixing would get better. and that just comes with time and practice and she would be getting that the more she does it.

then came the speech…. that i have a feeling she actually really thought a lot about. it was about how it was such an honor to work with me as closely as she did this time. about how i am the reason she is djing. about how i changed her view of music. how she spent a little while dressing the way that she would see photos of me. and then she went into this big thing about how she wants to work with me again and asked me when it would happen.

i didn’t know what to do or say at all. all i could do was look at her a bit blankly. ok, i admit that i was a bit more drunk than i usually am when i dj due to the week that i had prior.

but i didn’t know what to say or do after that. all that i could was smile and nod at her and start my set.

during my set, she did dance some and got her friends out there too. she made one request, that i had. i did play it because i was heading that direction in my set to start with.

when i was leaving the club with my primary, she was yelling again how much she loved me and was kind of all over me when i was trying to get home to bed. it was noticed by a few others. one thought that it was kind of weirdly obsessive.

this is one of those things that yes, it’s a huge complement that someone could be changed so much and so inspired by my work. it really is, but i just don’t know how celebrities do it at all.

i have never dealt with being fanned at on that level in my life.

a complement, yes.
obsessive, could be.
uncomfortable, yes. kind of. i know i was still on edge after being sexually assaulted the week before.
sweet, kind of, in a weird way.
life changing, yes. in 19 years as a dj, i know that i will have to deal with this from time to time.

i just need to learn how to deal with it.

About djneshamah

Long time kinky DJ. For the most part this blog will be about music, djing, kink, sex, modeling and reviews of books, films (when i make it to them), music (both albums and shows) and sex toys.

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